What was he* thinking?!?!

Some of the most enjoyable conversations I've had are those which start somewhere, twist, turn, flash, burn and go through winding lanes, across trees, meadows and finally land up in a place that has absolutely nothing to do with how that conversation begun.

At the end of such a conversation I often wonder, "How did we get here?" and then go on to retrace the dialogue back to the original topic of discussion.

Similarly, when I come across a delicacy or a novel idea, I often wonder how this came to be? What was the thought process... chain of thought... spark of imagination. At times it makes sense, for example, Fire. One can imagine the first fire must have been the result of a lightning or a spontaneous forest fire and that gave out heat (a desirable thing for early man). Rubbing hands for warmth is intuitive so someone must have made the connection, did some experimentation an voila FIRE!... but this is an example that makes sense, an origin story one can imagine, but that's not what this post is about. This is about the random things that I am unable to fathom.

Milk - The first person who saw the udder of a cow and went like you know what would be really cool... let me squeeze that and drink whatever comes out ... What was he thinking?!?!?

Sausages - For those who don't know... sausages are basically cheap parts of a pig ground and stuffed into the small intestine of what is usually the same pig. Now while they are really tasty, if you think about it, whoever came up with the idea to push meat down the pigs piping before it goes down yours... What was he thinking?!?!?!?

Cheese (Mature) - I can imagine curdling of milk to get cheese must have been an accidental discovery, but who was the smart Alec who decided that it would be a good idea let this thing spoil to the point where it begins to smell and then eat it... What was he thinking?!?!?!?

Birds nest - I'm not wondering what was a bird thinking when it decided to build itself a nest. I'm talking about using birds nest in deserts and soup. Whoever came up with this idea must have really had something against these birds. He would have thought to himself, "I will show that bird, I'll eat its family, and its eggs and you know what ...for good measure I'll eat up its nest also"...Seriously... What was he thinking?!?!?!?

And then there are the weirder delicacies in the world which I cant even begin to imagine what was going on in the persons head when they came up with the dish. For example century egg or urine brine eggs ... I'm not going to try and explain what these are (feel free to google them (Not Safe For Work)) but seriously... WHAT WAS HE THINKING?!?!?!?!?

If you have had similar thoughts please leave your ideas in the comments.



*For the purpose of this post he= he/she. 

The world is not enough

Well it seems like the world is going from wierd to really really wierd now it all started with Voixand her barbie and then that car ... of that poor car ... and i thought that Mumbai was the only place struck with the insanity of vanity. 

 

Then however along came Huh who had his own two bits of clothing disaster with what he called the most wanabe shirt ever and I really wouldn’t argue with him on that, and he witnessed this piece of fashion calamity in Delhi.

 

I give you straight from what lots of people consider a city where people know how to dress and trust me they do, Barcelona, the BIKE 

Star studded in Pink this once Macho sports bike just seems to take the cake and oh lord why ? why ? why ?

I know big back log on the Stay in France but this one just took precedence the rest coming up very soon watch this space

Which came first?

Which came first the chicken or the egg?

it was the egg.

i was there.

i was waiting.

the fried egg, the egg roll, the omelet, even the boiled egg came and i was still waiting for my one plate of chicken momos.

It's always the egg first.

:-(

The divine council of heaven and hell

A while back I was thinking to myself as I do quite often and was wondering how these things work.

Proposition 1: Good people go to heaven and sinners go to hell.

Proposition 2: Heaven is relative concept and everyone has their own hell and heaven.

Going by the two above mentioned propositions now lets take a third fundamental that opposites attract, now say there is a person A who is a very good person[1] and a person B sinner of the highest order[2], supposing A is madly in love with B if A is to go to heaven, A’s heaven cant be complete without B but B must go to hell so how does that work?

I got a couple of interesting responses;

If B is a random person that A is madly in love with for all you know being with A may be Hell for B and therefore there is no problem

If B is not a random person, A loves B and B loves A also, then depending on what B wants more, to be with A or to see A happy in heaven the opposite will happen since B is destined to be in hell.

A third argument that I came across is love trumps sin so lovers will be together.

Now the question: A dies destined to go to heaven, A’s heaven in complete without B, B is alive what will happen?

---

[1] Has to be in heaven

[2] Has to be in hell

Walking all over it

Having a conversation with Divya...

Me: Are you going to blog it (something about palmistry...wait for her next post for details)

Divya: Yes

M: you know i can mark the content as inappropriate...

D: that way your blog can be marked as inappropriate

M: But you are defaming the art of palmistry

D: you are insulting sanity

M: no i'm not 

D: then you're insulting insanity

M: no i'm not, i'm Hovering over it.

D: in which case your tresspassing... tresspassers will be prosecuted.

M: but i'm not tresspassing... its my property

D: No its not, your hovering over it... if it was your property then u'd be walking all over it.

M:    :-D

D:   :-)

M: I'm blogging this you better not

Cute

The Webster’s dictionary defines it to be something that is ugly yet tolerable. However the colloquial usage of the word is well... something off that. Off late the usage of this term has become more or less meaningless. This is a phenomenon I’ve noticed more among the fairer sex. Everything is cute, every animal that ends before their knees is cute, every guy that looks decent and not like Arnold Schwarzenegger is cute.[1] Things are cute, flowers, cups, pots even nails are cute. Two people hugging are cute; at times even fighting is cute. Leaves of trees are cute, birds are cute, and feathers are cute. Cows are cute, yaks are cute, even Donkeys are cute. To top it all the Brick is cute. At times I wonder if the word cute had a soul that needed to be present whenever the meaning of the word was used then the soul of the word cute would be tattered up amongst its so many varied uses. On another thought maybe that is why Webster defined the word cute to mean ugly yet tolerable because with the usage of the meaning being so negligible the soul can rest in peace.

---

[1] Which kind of amounts to every 15^th guy on the planet.

Rhyme of the ancient Abominable Hill

Before you start reading this post i wish to forewarn all readers that this is a very very long and extremely stupid post, that may malign certain characters that may be close to your hear and if that causes any sort of mental agony i am not responsible. I am also not responsible for the time and head you loose ever reading the following, u still want to read it ciao

Rhyme of the ancient Abominable Hill

Once upon a time in the middle of the sea

There was a pretty island, as pretty as can be

Upon this little island there was a mighty bore

Not a shirt upon his back, purple pants he wore[1]

He went into the forest one day he went to find some food

But good lord of gracious he let little red riding hood.

They walked through the forest and reached the mighty sea

There faraway in the distance a ship. Could it be???

It wasn’t just a ship it was the Black Pearl

On the mast stood Captain Sparrow hair tied in a twirl

He steered the ship to land, got off upon the shore.

Took a swig himself and offered some rum to the mighty bore

Then along came Barbosa who was supposed to have been dead

His one eyed glance fell upon hood little riding red

Oye said the pirate how‘d what is your name?

I’m your maite from Australia, what is your claim to fame?

She showed her little basket and took a little bow

In it stood a treasure the best that man did know

It was a largish flower, a flower of a magical kind

But to make the magic work a fey one had to find

They key was with a man called Robin Hood in tights

Legend has it he entertained, with his funny fights

The pirates stole the flower and went to look for hood

To enter the forbidden forest the pirates must have been good

After crossing many a hurdles, they were stopped by the mighty bore

Who drew a wand and flicked it and turned into Dumbledore

Beside him appeared his army that looked all very nice

But the pirates sipped some rum and turned them into mice

Alone stood the head master mumbling to himself in rage

Because the pirates took his wand and put him in bill turners cage

Along went the pirates to find hood and his merry men

They beat them all and got the key but got lost in colgate top ten

Sparrow was singing, Barbosa dancing to pop

Until a channel change put them on a mountain top

The two sailors stood there with rum and key and all

On an abominable mountain snowy standing tall

They showered, bathed and washed their hair

But could find no dryer to their despair

Along came in the snow a bear like thing

A white ferocious abominable bling

As he approached, the sailors shook with chill

He hugged them and asked, “Why are you on this blasted hill?”

He took them home made them warm and dry

Barbosa was so touched he performed is famous one eyed cry

There were lightning bolts and jolts of thunder

Electricity got scared ran six feet under

The TV blew, I think I hadn’t paid the bill

Oh well alas now we’ll never know what happened on the abominable hill.

Kanishk Kakkar

21/06/08

1437

---

[1] Think HULK

A time that was

There was a time when I understood

It wasn’t such a mystery

But now when I look at you and think

Comprehension is a matter of history

I used to see you curl and twine

And I knew what you had to say

But, I haven’t understood you since

Why did I go away?

I know I was away, but then

It was a short while

But the distance that has crept between us

Is longer than a mile

Oh well alas I’ll try my best

To solve this funny mystery

And it will be an uphill task

To understand chemistry

Kanishk Kakkar

12/3/2008

0816

A time unspoken off

A time unspoken off

There was a time and it was good it was a time of glory

About this time I’ll tell you now, it is an interesting story.

About this time it came and went it was a shade of orange yellow

And in this time was Sergeant Blackbottom, he was a jolly good fellow

The Sgt. Now, a horse he rod, he rode through all the land,

Until one day the horse just stopped, and Sgt. fell into the sand.

The Sgt. rose and saw his horse, It was blushing with a giggle

The horse to Sgt. helplessly, Your stirrup made me jiggle

And then the Sgt. vanished away into a spacious little room, and the horse into a hairy bushy broom.

Then all of a sudden in a span of an hour

Appeared a mop that looked a little sour

This mop was awesome it knew how to bend

And with that I come to an abrupt end.

Kanishk Kakkar

4/3/2008

1535